Do you think that healing with marijuana is possible? Not just as a pain reliever, but as a complete game changer?
As a way to get on the path to a healthy, active, and beautiful lifestyle…
If not, you’re the reason that I’m sharing my story today. If so, I hope it inspires you to keep going over every hurdle on your path. You can heal!
Life Before Weed
A couple of days ago, I had a deep feeling memory of a time when I was a completely different person. I actually felt what it was like to be back at my personal rock bottom.
There I was, loafed over on a green couch in an apartment behind the Olive Garden in Fargo, North Dakota. Unlimited breadsticks and that alfredo smell were some of the major appeals of the location. That night, I watched episode after episode of America’s Next Top Model, drinking one of those comically oversized bottles of Yellowtail Wine, popping a few Hydrocodone pills that I was prescribed for my chronic back pain, and chain smoking Misty 120 cigarettes. Yes… I was a classy ass multitasker back then.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen the nightmare that is America’s Next Top Model, but it’s not something you should watch in such a state. “Those bitches were born skinny and healthy,” I thought, “They were always able to walk gracefully in a straight line. Bitches.” I’d probably be in a wheelchair in a few years, since that’s what the doctors said. I’d probably have to have surgery too, since that’s what a specialist chimed in.
I remember feeling so alone that night. Most of my friends were avoiding me or had completely written me off because of my insane drunken behavior and constant crazy mood swings, so I was usually drinking alone at that time.
I was diagnosed with degenerative disk disease, scoliosis, and two herniated discs a few years earlier, but I’d been in pain for almost as long as I can remember. The scale fluctuated during my life, from bouts of weight watchers and diet pills, but I spent quite a bit of time at the 205-220 range (50-75 lbs heavier than I am today). All of the food I ate made me feel shitty anyway and I was consistently hungover, so I ate anything I wanted and would starve myself every now and again. It all felt so normal. But that night, and many other nights before that, I really wanted to die.
When I look back on the hopelessness and desperation that I felt back then, I wish someone would have been there to tell me that there was a way out, someone who wasn’t trying to sell me something or tell me all of these complicated things that I’ll need to do in order to get better. So I’m not trying to sell you anything or to tell you what to do. I’m just here to tell you that you can actually undergo a transformation. That you can heal. People do this in many different ways every day. My way just happens to involve cannabis… which is awesome. Yoga… which is awesomer. And a bangin’ diet… which is even better than awesome.
Enter: The Dankness
Every time I smoked weed up until I was about 23, I didn’t like it. I thought it made the pain worse and that it made me eat more and be lazier than I already was, so I didn’t do it very often. It wasn’t until I was living in my own apartment, and started buying weed did my true transformation begin. I would smoke and then I’d feel these things in my back where I usually felt nothing but pain. They felt like annoying tingles that wouldn’t go away. I had this uncontrollable urge to move, to do something about it. So I finally got off my ass and went on a walk.
It was the best fucking walk I’ve ever walked. And I give a ridiculous amount of gratitude for those first few miles of stoner wandering. I walked forever, until I was crazy tired and then I went home and didn’t eat a bunch of garbage and passed out. I woke up feeling like another person. So I got stoned again, and I walked. And then I got stoned again, and I walked. And walking became my whole world. I retired my vehicle because I couldn’t drive stoned, and I walked the four miles to school and back, the mile to the grocery store, the seven miles to where-the-fuck-ever. I walked everywhere. I started losing the weight. I finally had a glimpse of hope that my world could change.
But back then, I was still in fear and still in a lot of pain. My diet was improving naturally though. One other thing that those “annoying tinglies” did was tell me when food felt bad. If I got ripped and ate cookies… “annoying tinglies”. When I got ripped and ate salad (which was rare back then)… I felt free from the tingly demons.
When I was 26, I started getting ripped and doing yoga on the bare wood floor of my bedroom. I did free videos I found online, and I only did it because I met a cool hot yoga chick. I too wanted to be a cool hot yoga chick. Doing yoga just came with the territory.
It wasn’t until I found Forrest Yoga, that my healing process really got some traction. In 2012, with very little experience, I jumped into a Forrest teacher training that completely changed my life. I realized that I didn’t need weed to feel the annoying tingles, and that feeling was actually a sign of stuck energy just dying to burst out of my body (duh). Sometimes the energy was yucky and sometimes it released joy into my body that I’d never experienced before. I learned how to breathe into parts of my body to promote healing and many other very valuable tools that have made me the person I’ve become. A person who wakes up every day knowing that change is possible and necessary. Evolve or die, if you will
Enter: Weed & Food
I’d love to say that I’m completely healed, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I can walk and hike and do yoga, but I still deal with chronic pain issues that are dissolving over time as I put in the work and enjoy more and more of the food we grow and prepare ourselves. When the lovely farmer and I decided that we’d like to start growing cannabis (when it became legal here in CO), I started making edibles from our excess trim and larfy buds.
I made Wake & Bake, and the rest is history. Eventually, I found that eating those recipes with processed sugar didn’t work for me (especially in the amounts that you’re eating when you make a cookbook). In the upcoming Wake & Bake 2, I cut out most of the sugar and concentrated on hearty and savory vegan recipes like Hashed Taters and Notchyo Cheeze. It was an incredible, and incredibly full time around the farm.
These days, my favorite way to ingest cannabis is in the form of a green smoothie. It feels oh so good and is oh so high energy.
I hope that maybe this long-ass-winded post helps anyone who may be struggling with pain to know that there is a way out. Every healing path is different and I my way is not for everyone. Just know that there’s A way.
For Extra Special Brownie Points: How has marijuana assisted you on a path to healing?
Also… There’s an IndieGoGo campaign up for pre-orders of Wake & bake 2. Check it out and share it with your homies!